Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I'm hunting Robert Downey Jr.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

You get what you pay for.

Or what you get for free.

Do you remember those cartoons were the main character finds a genie's lamp, meets the genie, makes a wish thinking all of their problems are gonna go away only to have the wish backfire? For the past two weeks I have been living in a backfired wish.

The townhouse has been sold. We have to be out by October 1. We just unpacked. We knew it was temporary but not THAT temporary. This townhouse has become a nightmare. I've been so horrible to myself and Paul since finding out. I've been really horrible to the buyer. People on twitter and Facebook must think I'm an awful person. Well you would be too if this situation happened to you. I'm angry. I have every right to be angry. I'm broke and homeless. Yay!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

How I Lost Weight By Eating Chocolate and Hula Hooping

Yup. Pretty much that’s the story.

Ok I kid. Here’s the break down.


The dreaded “D'” word. Pssh. It ain’t that bad. All I did was eat chocolate three times a day. That was pretty much the catalyst for the weight loss. I started eating Xocai healthy chocolate in March of this year. Xocai is an antioxidant rich dark chocolate that is combined with acai berries. . It’s not your commercial chocolate that is filled with waxes, fats and gods knows what.  After about a week of eating it I noticed my waist felt trimmer. So after about three months of eating it I lost weight. Kinda an added bonus to eating good chocolate. But there’s more than just the chocolate. I have also been drinking a lot of coconut water. Coconut water and coconut meat is seriously the best stuff on the PLANET!  After you read the benefits of coconut water you have to wonder why more people are not drinking it and why they would pick Gatorade over it. Gatorade tastes like ass. Here’s a few facts on the fantastic stuff:

  • Coconut Water is more nutritious than whole milk - Less fat and NO cholesterol.
  • Coconut Water is More Healthy than Orange Juice - Much lower calories.
  • Coconut Water is Better than processed baby milk - It contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk.
  • Coconut water is naturally sterile - Water permeates though the filtering husk.
  • Coconut water is a universal donor - Its identical to human blood plasma.
  • Coconut Water is a Natural Isotonic Beverage - The same level we have in our blood.
  • Coconut water has saved lives in 3rd world countries thru Coconut IV.
    • Coconut water contains more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117 mg) and most energy drinks.
    • Coconut water has less sodium (25mg) where sports drinks have around 41mg and energy drinks have about 200 mg.
    • Coconut water has 5mg of Natural Sugars where sports and energy drinks range from 10-25mg of Altered Sugars.
    • Coconut water is very high in Chloride at 118mg, compared to sports drinks at about 39mg.

I have also started adding more raw vegan foods to my diet. I love me some fruits but I didn’t eat enough greens. I  could only really my greens in a salad.  I wanted more veggies in my diet. So I started exploring raw recipes and added a couple to my diet. I have also started drinking a green smoothie in the morning.You can add whatever you like to the mix.That’s just one recipe. They are delicious. Don’t let the color gross you out. Try it. You’ll love it.


Hula Hooping

I posted about getting started by going to Bataan Park on Sunday. Since last month I’ve really gotten into . I bought myself a heavy ass travel hoop and LOVE IT!!! My arms and shoulders look more toned and they are getting toned. My abs are ridonkulous. I love putting on some music and hooping till I sweat. I don’t think I could recommend hooping enough as a majorly fun activity that allows you to have so much fun, learn nifty tricks and get into shape.


Here are some blogs that I check out that have recipes, advice, videos etc… They are a good jumping off point.

Have fun kids! I’m Sarebear bitch!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Get settled

August is more than half over and we are 90% done with the move. Paul still has to clean out his two rooms at his old place. But for the most part we are all settled. We got our brand spanking new sofa today. I love that Paul got it in trade for a show. I'm currently writing from lounging on said couch while Virgil the cat naps on it. She really likes to couch. Need to have to housewarming party SOON!!! Need to buy this house soon. Just a bit over a month to go then it's to see my mom hi-ho hi-ho.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Can we say” busy week”?

All moved out of the old apartment. Most of my things are moved into the townhouse. Thankfully, Paul has the rest of August to move his bedroom and office over. No more moving after this. Ever. We seriously want to buy this townhouse. Spaced themed housewarming party soon!

The trip to Roswell was nice. Got to meet a lot of Paul’s relatives and go swimming. I got to attend my first and hopefully last Catholic mass. I started falling asleep. No wonder they make you stand up and sit down. Totally snoresville. But lots of good food was eaten and I hope Paul’s uncle is raising hell in heaven.

We stopped in Ruidoso on our way back. Had lunch with Paul’s friend Chad and found the Batmobile. This time it was the one from Batman Forever. Eh. But a Batmobile none the less.DSC03973DSC03972

I still need a job. For two months.. I’ve so been putting off the job hunting because of the great upheaval. But now, I needs the money. Anybody know of anything?

More unpacking and sorting and cleaning to do. And more pictures!

DSC03989Paul and Fritz getting ready to go for a spin. DSC03976Heading back from Roswell, we say this rainbow over a valley near Belen. DSC03982  I made a fringe belt out of two t-shirts.DSC03984DSC03988My hooping corner. <3

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Oh dear. When I started this blog a few months back I had intentions of doing interviews, video how-tos, tips and tricks and a whole bunch of stuff.  That kinda hasn’t happened  unfortunately. The Burlesque Noir video is half way edited and was supposed to be done in May before the Greatest Tits show. But well, Paul ( who is a fantastic editor) got really busy. I suck at editing. So, it sits unfinished. I hope it gets finished.

I had LOTS of ideas in April. Right before I quit I knew the direction I wanted to go in. Now that direction has gone somewhere and I have no clue where it’s going. It’s organic. I’m gonna let it evolve to where it needs and wants to go.

Other things have gotten in the way.  I know I’m not alone when you decide to move it pretty much consumes a lot of your time and energy. After this month is over I hope to get back to creation and getting off of my ass and lining up some performances.

I really want and need to perform. I really need to get to work on that. I’m so much better at performing than I am at working.

I feel like Starbuck. I’m only good at one thing. Other things I frak up. 

But, we are both badass. kara thrace

So, never fear. I will get this more off the ground so next, I will never work for anybody else but myself. Working for someone else is for suckers.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Picture Post!

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Hey Sarebear!



Whatcha been up to?

  • Packing! I’m moving out of my apartment and becoming a gypsy. I really hate sorting through all the little stuff and trying to decide if I want to keep it or not. I’m really trying to stick with the “ get rid of 80 to 90% of my belongings” thing. I’m sure I will. Yard sale Saturday the 25th! Bring cash and buy my stuff.
  • Hooping. Now that I’m out of work and not in Roswell, I can go to Bataan park on Sundays and hoop my ass off. I can also hoop my ass off in Paul’s room. I can also hoop in other parks. I am DETERMINED to get chest/shoulder hooping down pat. None of this wonky business. I want to be a hooping master by the end of the year.
  • I’m irritable. Like WhOA! Since I got laid off, I didn’t have enough money for my auto-ship of Xocai chocolate and rent, so the chocolate had to go (thanks to all the people who didn’t sign up, much love). That was the beginning of the month and I am feeling the effects. I’ve got some fantastically huge zits on my face and bloat like dead animal in the desert. Ugh. And being frustrated with hooping and poi tricks isn’t helping. 
  • Job hunting. Ugh. Don’t want to but I need to eat and I would like a pair of Melodia’s. Anybody know of any work I could do for about 2 months? star-wars-unemployment
  • I’ve been spending a lot of my time naked. It’s just too dang hot to put on clothes.

What’s up with you?


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Showtime's Live Nude Comedy

Hosted by Shannon Elizabeth.

A new show featuring comedy and burlesque.

Two things that make me go “hmmm”; 1) The lack of variety of dancers. Pale skinny white girls, yawn.

2) Andy Dick. Nuff said.

Have to give it a watch though. Maybe frakking hilarious.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

What do you do with a bag of bones?

2009-07-03 13.21.01

Make some jewelry of course!!bone ring

Part of a spine, random stone bead and some wire. Boo-Yah!

More to come.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Full Moon Hafla at White Sands


I know I know some peeps who want to go. Who’s coming with me? Road trip!!!!

Does your dog bite? Yes indeed!

I survived Roswell. They don’t fuck around with their fireworks. The last day was verrrry long. Lots of selling and packing. Didn’t get to leave until 2:30 am. Thinking that driving home the 3 hours on the little sleep I had would be suicide, I found a nice hotel room and slept for a couple hours and then finally made it back to Abq.

Overall it was a good experience. I was in desperate need to get out of Albuquerque and do something different. And overall, it was probably one of the best retail jobs I’ve ever had. Go figure.

Today it’s getting back into “ Oh shit you got to move so you better start tying up loose ends and stuff” mode. Yeah I need to get a move on. First up, getting a PO box. Then switching banks. Then more sorting and packing and stuff. Must go to the bank and cash my last paycheck.

I want to have a yard sale around the end of the month so keep an eye out for the date and save your pennies to come and by my stuff!!

I now leave you with a song that has been going through my head all week. I’m so glad Sean had these dvds and I could relive my 90’s childhood.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Marking Territory

Hi! I'm alive.

So I was laid off from my quick cash job. Pretty much the best thing ever. Didn't really like the job and it has given me the opportunity to live the gypsy lifestyle. I am currently blogging from a tent just outside of Roswell, NM. Why am I here? I'm selling fireworks. It's pretty fucking sweet.
There's a tv and Xbox with dvds. What's up The Adventures of Pete & Pete? Mini fridge and a Foreman grill.
So far I have survived a thunderstorm and a moth plague. It's hot and humid during the day but that's ok because it is a hell of a lot better than sitting in an office or trying to sell furniture.
I'm taking the time to get some reading and hooping in.
This down time is precious.

Friday, June 12, 2009

This shit is whack, yo!

Banks. Credit cards. Late fees. Monthly maintenance fees. All of it. 100% whack!  I totally could have done without them. 

I’m on the hunt for a new bank. I am no longer getting direct deposit so Bank of America is debiting my checking account $8.95. RUDE.  To a new bank I go. It’s either Wells Fargo or Compass. Both offer checking accounts with no monthly fees and customizable check cards. But Wells Fargo is a national bank while Compass is not. What to do? What to do?

I still have yet to get back into that highly motivated state of mind. I feel like loafing around when I get off of work. Eight hours on your feet suck! I can’t wait for this job to be over. Bah!

I got a lot of thinking and planning to do in the coming months. A huge yard sale is in order. I’m getting rid of everything except some clothing, makeup, some books and jewelry. Everything else must go. Stay tuned for the yard sale date.

I need to work on new routines. I want to get a veil poi or voi routine in the works. I also need to work on a bellydance piece. I also need to work on a bellydance piece for a show on the 27th of this month. Fun fun fun!

Enough bitching.

Have some cute.


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

More pictures!!

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All photos by Elizabeth Greene and you can see the rest of the performers pictures here. Elizabeth did a fantastic job!!

Monday, June 1, 2009


Man I’m behind. I started a as I like to call it “quick cash” job. Just something to pay the bills and fund other business ventures. It’s a nice temp/summer job at a furniture store that is going out of business. Totally glamorous I know. But my co-workers are a rag tag bunch of gypsies, transplants and maybe thieves of the non bitchy and backstabbing type. Yay!

Have you ever had one of those days were you have a lot to do but you don’t want to do them because it’s your day off? That’s today.

Here’s to me trying to get back on track.

Speaking of furniture…….

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Greatest Tits Pics

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Photo by Chris Slocumb.

I love how he named all the shots “crazy”. HA!!

More of me undressed to come.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Your Life Will Never Be the Same

Burlesque Film Opening This Monday (5/18) at the Guild Cinema

May 18-21 ( Monday - Thursday) 3:30, 5:30. 7:30

Director in person at the 7:30 shows!! Plus short live performances by  BURLESQUE NOIR!
Dir. Deirdre Allen Timmons - 2008 - 91m An intoxicating mix of private thoughts and public behavior, A Wink and a Smile exposes more than the human body by putting gender, power, sexuality and social identity under the glittery spotlight, as it follows the lives of ten "ordinary" women who do something extraordinary – learn the art burlesque dancing and striptease. Through their adventures, we see how a homemaker, a reporter, a doctor, an opera singer, a taxidermist and a college student, join the American cultural revival of burlesque, as it moves from fringe fascination to mainstream obsession, engaging a world where performance art and showgirl spectacle, music, theater and sensuality crash into over-the-top glamour - a world where many want to go, but very few dare. Here's the trailer.

ETA: Windows Live Writer Pwns when blogging.

(Film synopsis taken from Guild Cinema website)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I need to learn how to hoop dance!

I need to learn how to hoop dance because:

  1. It’s an amazing workout
  2. It’s fun
  3. I want to eventually do fire hoop.
  4. When I saw the Suicide Girls burlesque show there was this really cute girl doing burlesque piece to Elvis while hooping. It was damn good and the only really good thing about that show.

Good thing there’s a group here in Albuquerque that specializes in hooping. Yay! They meet every Sunday at 11a.m. at Bataan Park, Lomas and Amherst - next to Walgreens.  I know what I’m doing next Sunday morning. Join me!!

Now, some hoopers!



Excuse me while I mop up the drool from my keyboard. Gah!


I really want to get the Hoopnotica dvd when I get the moneys. For the time being, I will gladly enjoy my Sundays in the park hopefully getting some one on one instruction for free.

Bonus : How to make your own hoop.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

People of Earth

I am going to give you advice. Take it or leave it but its good advice. Stop focusing on all the shit around you. Your life is shit because you are just focusing on the shit. Stop it. Be grateful for a lot of things in life but quit with the shit focusing. God damn. Its your life. I'm only saying it once.

Christina Aguilera to star in ‘Burlesque’

It’s official. Christina Aguilera has confirmed to play a burlesque dancer in the film “Burlesque”. The film is written by Steven Antin, brother to Robin Antin of Pussycat Doll fame.  Yeah.

My gut reaction to this project is to automatically dismiss it. I don’t like Christina or the Pussycat Dolls. I don’t really think of the Pussycat Dolls as a burlesque act. They just sing in their underwear. I don’t get it. The plot sounds like every stripper/hooker with a heart of gold movie out there:

“Aguilera will play an ambitious small-town girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club that appears to be right out of Bob Fosse's "Cabaret."

Hmmm.  Sounds a lot like Flashdance and Showgirls. Nomi was from a small town too. All she wanted to do was be a dancer. And look at all the shenanigans she got into!!

Let me guess, she falls in love with her manager, but SURPRISE, he turns out to be a scumbag.  After some shaming, fall from grace, she receives help and redemption from her “family of dancers” played by the Pussycat Dolls. She falls in love with the only man to ever believe in her ,an audience member who frequents her shows, and live happily ever after. Awwww.

I can’t wait to snark this. Please, pay me to see this.  I can only hope it is as LOL worthy as Showgirls and somebody gets pushed down the stairs. 

I know. I know. I’m prejudging something that could be great. Who knows?  But I have a tendency to roll my eyes at any  watered–down project Hollywood lays it’s hands on these days.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Burlesque Inspiration : Bollywood

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Madhuri Dixit-Nene in Khalnayak

If I could live my life like a musical I would want it to be a Bollywood movie.  Every time I needed to proclaim my love for my boyfriend or need to pray for rain, I want a fully choreographed eight minute long dance sequence complete with women  dressed in gorgeous  saris and lots of drums!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely love the picture up top. It’s from a movie called Khalnyak . I haven’t seen it yet but I loooooove the dance sequence.  The song is called '”Cholie Ke Peeche Kya Hai” which means “What’s behind the blouse?'”  I want to wear that outfit everyday.

I will dance on a train.

Go rent Lagaan right now!! It makes the game of cricket interesting.

Burlesque Noir has a Bollywood themed piece called “Saggy Paneer” but it’s not loading on Youtube. :( Rude.

Instead, pictures to inspire!


We’re the dancers.


Hi, I’m gorgeous.


Video made of win. Bollywood disco done right by my girl M.I.A.

The original song which M.I.A. sampled. It's made of LOL!